A Christmas Jokes, Humor, Fun Pix and Memes Page
Happy Holidays!

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The Christmas Jokes pg 1

* Arkansas Xmus
* Santa Replies 
* Well Wishings
* Bubba Claus
*
Santa's Recount
*
Confuse Santa
* Letter from Mom
* X-mas Planning
* Santa Poem
* Night Before
* Santa Contract
* X-mas Tale
* Holiday Cookin
* Santa Logistics
* Festivity Levels
* X-mas Carols
* A X-mas Wish

Christmas Jokes 2

Our Wish is that you and yours have a Safe and Happy Holiday Season. Lay off the Hooch iffin ya figger ya might be drivin. Or I reckon there'll be a reckonin, for the wreckin.

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YOU HAVE FOUND THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY JOKES PAGE

Here at last, is the long awaited old and improved X-mas Humor Page. We have searched far and wide to bring you the best that this web has to offer in the way of Christmas Jokes and general Holiday Humor. We hope the selection pleases the palate.

The MENU to the left consists of X-mus Jokes that were on our site prior to the 2012 X-mas Season. Here's a joke or three to wet the whistle Then use the joke menu at the left side of the page.

The First Reindeer Seen In A Bar

One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a reindeer walked in the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer, and accepted the twenty-dollar bill from the reindeer's hoof.

As he handed the reindeer some coins in change, he said, "You know, I think you're the first reindeer I've ever seen in here."

The reindeer looked hard at the hoof-full of change and said, "Let me tell you something, buddy. At these prices, I'm the last reindeer you'll see in here."

The Strange Christmas Scene.

In a small southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me.

The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.

Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You stupid Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.

She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said "See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"


Did Santa Give You That Present?

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike.


The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

The kid says, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."

The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the Asshole behind the horse and not on it's back."

PLEASE SCROLL UP FOR THE JOKES IN THE MENU


We Hope you have enjoyed the selection we have compiled and hope you will return to check for updates. Always remember when the elves aren't watching, Heyzues is!

 

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Funny Memes Fun Pictures and Pix

Funny Pictures from around the internet. We collect Humorous Pictures and Funny Signs to save you the trouble of doing it yourself. We have original Funny Pics as well. We also give our own slant on nearly every Pic we post. Hope you enjoy the show. It's the best fun pics site in town or my name ain't Yo Mama.