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A VALENTINES DAY JOKES AND MEMES PAGE - 2
And General Man Versus Woman Comedy Spot
From Humorcafe.com and Allfunpix.com

The Very Best in Valentines Meme Humor Collected to save you time. Man vs Woman Jokes and Memes and general Relationship and Marriage Memes and Jokes, and Videos for your Amusement. Your one stop Valentine Comedy Shop.

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Valentines Day Jokes - Page 1

Valentine's Day Jokes - Page 2
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Valentine's Day Memes 1

Valentine Memes Page 2

Funny Valentine Memes 3

Funny Valentine Memes 4
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Funny Valentine Videos 1

Funny Valentine Videos 2
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Funny Valentine Day Cards 1

Funny Valentine Day Cards 2

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I wish I was your differential equation homework, because then I would be really hard and you would be doing me on your desk. - Amonimous

“Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.” – Mirabeau

'Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.'
Mickey Rooney

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WARNIING: I would like to go on record and officially State that I am not going to be held responsible in these sensitive times should the sharing of these Valentines Jokes incur you such mishaps as the loss of employment or harassment suits. The wee lil Love powem you are about to read was written for and about a women I was involved with. It would not do to share this with random female aquaintances with which there is no estasblished romantic interest. (Don't be a creepy feely bastard with unfamiliar women and know your familiarty level with familiar women.)

YOUR FEATURED VALENTINE'S ROMANTIC POEM

If I Had Breasts

If I Had Breasts,

Me thinks I wouldn’t mind so much

Were you to fondle them,

upon your every whim.

Were you to walk up unannounced and nuzzle,

I shouldn’t think I’d get upset.

I think it wouldn’t anger me

When you pawed at them in public.

They are wonderous things – your breasts

Twin symbols of your strength, and beauty

In life, and motherhood.

So please,

Please,

Stop slapping me.

By JestaFreak

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Black Cat

These Bugs Are Still Goin At It.

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I only put this here so I could track how many people come here looking for Bug Sex.

OF REDNECKS AND ROMANCE

Kudzu is green, my dog's name is Blue And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk, a-flapping in the breeze. Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.
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You move like the bass, which excite me in May. You ain't got no scales, but I luv you anyway.
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You're as graceful as okry, jist a-dancin' in the pan. Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop right out of the can.
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You have all yore teeth, for which I am proud; I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
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On special occasions, when you shave yore armpits, Well, I'm in hawg heaven, I'm plumb outta my wits.
And speakin' of wits, you've got plenty fer shore. 'Cuz you married me back in '74.
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Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man, To patch up life's troubles and stick 'em in the can.
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Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler racin' through mud, Yet fragile as that sanger named Naomi Judd.
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Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead. You ain't mean like no far ant upon which I oft' tread.
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Cut from the best pattern like a flannel shirt of plaid, You sparked up my life like a Rattletrap shad.
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When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack, My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Them fellers at work they all keep on askin, Why I deserve to be i love and baskin
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Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie, with a RC cold drank, We go together like a skunk goes with a stank.
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Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'. Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.


HERE BE A BIT OF HALLOWEEN HUMOR FOR YOU.
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Valentine Tiny Heart Choose Your Words Wizely Valentine Tiny Heart

A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. The husband gets up in a rage and says, And you are no good in bed either, and storms out of the house.

After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, What took you so long to answer the phone?

She says, I was in bed.

What are you doing in bed at this hour?

Getting a second opinion!

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Valentine Tiny Heart Heartborn Sentiments Valentine Tiny Heart

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London.

The jeweller inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'

Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave "To my one and only love".'
The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'

Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'

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Valentine Tiny Heart Prized Posessions Valentine Tiny Heart

A Man meets a gorgeous Womman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows her around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears on shelves all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.

The Man is surprised this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to asker what the deal is there. He is actually quite impressed that she wasn't worried about letting him see them.

She turns to him... they kiss... and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love.

After an intense night of passion they are lying there together in the afterglow, the Man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"

The Women says:

"Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."

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Valentine Tiny Heart Valentine’s Day Genie Valentine Tiny Heart

AN OLDER WOMAN runs into her friend at the mall. “You’re not going to believe this,” she said. “I found an old lamp the other day. I rubbed it and a genie popped out. He explained that genies don’t give three wishes anymore, but he did offer me a choice between one of two wishes. He could give me a better memory or turn my husband into the greatest lover ever.”

“Tough choice,” said her friend. “Which one did you choose?”

“That’s the thing. I can’t remember.”

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Valentine Tiny Heart Loving Pet Names Valentine Tiny Heart

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, Mother of Six in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He shouts at the top of his voice, Shall we go home, Mother of six?

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!

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Valentine Tiny Heart Flowers at the Office Valentine Tiny Heart

My wife rang me at work on Valentine's Day.

She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received bunches of flowers. They're absolutely gorgeous."

I said, "That's probably why someone decided to send them flowers then."

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Valentine Tiny Heart You Get One Wish Valentine Tiny Heart

Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes. Phil felt flattered so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice, 'I'll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just £10 but on one condition.'

The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance, 'What's your condition?'

Phil answered, 'Tell me your wish in just three words.'

There was a long pause, the woman opened her purse, counted out the money and handed it to the man along with her address. She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, 'Clean my house.


Well that about raps up the Valentines Day Funnies for Right Now. I will post more as soon as I get the chance. Thanks for taking the time to check it all out. Share us if you like us.

VALENTINE MEMES * VALENTINE JOKES * VALENTINE VIDEOS * VALENTINE CARDS

I appear to have lost my Valentines Humor page and my St. Pats Humor Page during a migration. Sadness.

Do Not miss our Holiday Humor sections at AllFunPix.com. Lots of laughs and growing every year.
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