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Funny Christmas Memes and Pictures - 4

Funny Christmas Jokes from around the internet. We collect Holiday Humor, Jokes, and Stories to save you the trouble of doing it yourself. Hope you enjoy the show.

Happy Holidays Everybody!

MORE OF: Letters To Santa

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What if Santa answered his mail honestly... 

Dear Santa, 
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? 

Your friend, Thomas 

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend Most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and picking up cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. 

Santa 

Dear Santa, 

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? 

Love, Jessica 

Dear Jessica, 

Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. 

Santa 

Dear Santa, 

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? 

Timmy 

Timmy, 

That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. 

Santa 

Dearest Santa, 

We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? 
Love, Marky 

Mark, 

First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass  whipped at school. 
Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. 
Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your  bedroom window. 

Sweet Dreams, Santa 

 

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