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Funny Fun Pictures and Pix

Funny Pictures from around the internet. We collect Humorous Pictures and Funny Signs to save you the trouble of doing it yourself. We have original Funny Pics as well. We also give our own slant on nearly every Pic we post. Hope you enjoy the show. It's the best fun pics site in town or my name ain't Yo Mama.

Happy Holidays Everybody!

Arkandsaw X-mus

 

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, AND ALL THROUGH THE SHACK,
NOT A DARN THING WAS A MOVIN', FROM THE FRONT TO THE BACK.

THE KIDS WERE IN BED, WE HAD NINE AT THE TIME,
THE WIFE IN HER CURLERS, WAS LOOKIN' REAL FINE.

A COLD WIND WAS BLOWIN', UP THE HOLLER IT MOANED,
TEN DOGS ON THE PORCH ALL HOWLED AND GROANED.

THE BOYS WERE ALL DREAMIN' OF WEAPONS AND GUNS,
FOR KILLIN' GOD'S CREATURES, ...THERE'S NO BETTER FUN!

THE GIRLS IN THEIR FEMININE DREAMS WERE ATTUNED,
TO GETTING GALLONS AN GALLONS OF WAL-MART PERFUME.

THE WIFE WANTED JEWELRY, LIKE RINGS WITH BIG ROCKS.
I JUST WANTED MY CHEVY DOWN OFF OF THEM BLOCKS.

THEN OUT IN YARD, SUCH A NOISE DID COMMENCE,
LIKE SOMETHING WAS CAUGHT IN OUR NEW BOB-WAR FENCE.

I RAN TO THE WIN'DER, AND SAW PRETTY QUICK,
THE MAN MAKIN' THE RACKET, WAS GOOD OL' ST. NICK.

YOU MAY THINK OF SANTA IN YER OWN MIND'S EYE,
DRESSED IN A RED AND WHITE SUIT, BUT I'VE GOT A SURPRISE.

THAT OLD BOY'S AN ARKIE, FROM UP NEAR MT. GAYLOR,
HE MARRIED HIS COUSIN, AND THEY LIVE IN A TRAILER.

ON CHRISTMAS, OF COURSE, A SLEIGH FOR HIS RIG,
HE HOOKS THE THING UP TO RAZORBACK PIGS!

HE CLIMBED ON THE ROOF, WITH HIS BAG FULL OF GOODIES,
HE BACKED DOWN THE FIREPLACE, ALL DIRTY AND SOOTY.

FAT LEGS IN HIS BRITCHES, CHUBBY HANDS IN HIS MITTENS,
FROM THE BACK HE LOOKED A LOT LIKE BILL CLINTON.

HE TURNED TOWARD THE TREE, HIS EYES ALL AGLOW,
HE WAS AN ARKANSAS BOY FROM HIS HEAD TO HIS TOE.

HIS NECK WAS A RED ONE, HIS SHIRT SAID "LITE BEER",
HE HAD NO RED HAT, BUT HIS CAP READ "JOHN DEERE".

HE LEFT ALL THE PRESENTS, WITH AN AIRE OF DELIGHT,
THEN IT WAS BACK TO THE CHIMNEY, AND INTO THE NIGHT.

HE RAN THROUGH THE YARD, THREW HIS BAG IN THE SLEIGH,
THEN YELLED AT THE DOGS, "GET OUT THE DAMN WAY!"

I RAN OUT TO ASK HIM WHY HE BROUGHT SUCH GOOD CHEER;
BUT INSTEAD HE JUST ASKED ME, "DIDJA GET YOUR DEER?"

THEN I HEARD HIM EXCLAIM, AS THOSE PIGS TOOK FLIGHT,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL ........MAN, I NEED A BUD LITE!!"

 


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