One Hot Cup "O" Whoop Ass!!!
funny shit

Christmas Jokes and Stories Page - 2

Funny Christmas Jokes from around the internet. We collect Holiday Humor, Jokes, and Stories to save you the trouble of doing it yourself. Hope you enjoy the show.

Happy Holidays Everybody!

Santa Replies to Letters from Children

  Easy Share us Everywhere
 
 

What if Santa answered his mail honestly... 

Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. 
Yer Frend, 
BiLLy 

Dear Billy, 

Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! 

Santa 


Dear Santa, 

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is Peace and joy in the world for everybody! 

Love, Sarah 

Dear Sarah, 

Your parents smoked pot while you were in gestation, didn't they? 

Santa 


Dear Santa, 

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my Mommy and Daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. 

Love, Teddy 

Dear Teddy, 

Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. 

Santa 


Dear Santa, 
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. 
Love, Susan 

Dear Susan, 

Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? 
Leave me a bottle of scotch. 

Santa 


 

[ BACK ] [ MAIN ] [ NEXT ]