Hanging Chad Humor

from MELVIN DURAI'S HUMOR COLUMN  
~~Copyright 2000 Melvin Durai http://www.funnycolumns.com

The 2000 presidential election introduced  us to the term "hanging chad." Below is the definition of that term, as well as some other lesser known "hanging" terms:

HANGING CHAD: What you get when a hole on a ballot card isn't fully punched out. In the African nation of Chad, this is known as a "hanging America."

HANGING BRAD:  What actress Gwyneth Paltrow wants to do to her ex-boyfriend Brad Pitt.

HANGING AD: What you'd get if Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris placed a "Bush-Cheney" campaign sticker on her breasts.

HANGING MAD: A presidential candidate who's hanging on desperately to his White House hopes, believing the election was stolen.

HANGING GONAD: What you get when supporters of Ralph Nader, realizing he has no chance of winning, fail to complete their chants: "GO NAD...!" A reference to this term also appeared in the Lewinsky Diary.

HANGING SAD: A term describing an incumbent president who had hoped the election wouldn't be decided until 2020.

HANGING DAD: What O.J. Simpson didn't want his kids to witness.

HANGING PLAID: What Ross Perot's maid is tired of doing.

HANGING GRAD: A term for a football player, in his last semester of college, waiting to find out who will write his final paper.

HANGING BAD: How Bob Dole described his condition to the doctor who prescribed Viagra.

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Copyright 2000 Melvin Durai http://www.funnycolumns.com

Melvin Durai is a Shippensburg, Pennsylvania-based writer and  humorist. A native of India, he grew up in Zambia and moved to the U.S. in the early 1980s.

For a free subscription to one of America's most entertaining and thought-provoking columns, send a blank message to durai-humor-on@mail-list.com

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