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Funny Thanksgiving Jokes and Stories - PG 1

From our Collection of Thanksgiving Humor. We have collected these Thanks Giving Jokes and Thanksgiving Holiday stories to amuse you on this lovely day. Hope you enjoy the show. It's the best thanksgiving website in town or my name ain't Squanto.

Happy Thanks Giving Everybody!

Stupid Thanksgiving Jokes
 

 

When did the Pilgrims first say "God bless America?"
The first time they heard America sneeze!

What are unhappy cranberries called?
Blueberries!

What's blue and covered with feathers?
A turkey holding its breath!

What's the key to a good Thanksgiving dinner?
The turKEY!

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Lots of drumsticks!

What would you call a pet squash?
Call it anything you want- it won't hear you!

What did the farmer say to the green pumpkin?
Why orange you orange?

Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off!

When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?
On their feet!

Why didn't the turkey eat dessert?
He was stuffed! 

What cat discovered America?
Christofurry Columbus!

What's the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
Your teeth!

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
He had the drumsticks!

What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an octopus?
Eight feather dusters!

What kind of vegetables would you like for Thanksgiving dinner?
Beets me!

What's round, red, and wears a diaper?
A baby cranberry! 

What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
Your nose!

Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
To hatchet.

Why did the Pilgrim eat a candle?
He wanted a light snack!

What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?
Plymouth Rock!

Why do Turkeys gobble, gobble?
They never learned good table manners!

 

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