Valentines Day Jokes Page

Wishing all of you a safe and chafing free Valentines Day

From and and

Valentines Day Jokes Compellation Page 1
When we set out to build this page we had no Idea that there were so few Valentine Humor web pages in existence. We found that most valentine humour sites contained the same 5 to 6 jokes. We felt we should do more for you our honored jest. We felt that Valentines day was unfulfilled without paying homage to the time honored traditions of Man vs. Woman comedy. So we compiled the Best Valentine's Day Jokes and Man vs Woman humor we could find all for your Valentime's Day entertainment.

Valentines Day Jokes Collection

In an effort to conserve space we are stacking a few jokes on every page.

Use the Link below to return to Funny Pictures Pages

V-Day Jokes 1

V-Day Jokes 2

V-Day Jokes 3

V-Day Jokes 4

V-Day Jokes 5

V-Day Jokes 6

Valentines Day Funny Pictures

[ MEMES 2 ] [ MEMES 3 ]

Valentine's Links Page

Here be the collection of V-day Jokes and general Woman vs. Man Humor We have tried not to bias this to our own gender but we make no promises. Hope you enjoy the humor.
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These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line.... or what not to write on the card.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you, cause I was pissed. <--- that means drunk

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I thought that I could love no other,
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot,
This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel, your sweet embrace,
But don't take that paper bag, off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you, screwed up my life.

I see your face, when I am dreaming,
That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away,
What have you stepped in, to smell this way.

My feelings for you, no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell".

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Valentine's Day Romance

"Do you love me with all your heart and soul?" asked Becky on Valentines Day.

"Mmm hmm." replied Dave.

"Do you think I'm the most beautiful girl in the world?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Do you think my lips are like rose petals?"

"Mmm hmm."
  "Oh Dave," gushed Becky, "you say the most beautiful things!"



Every Friday after work, a mathematician goes down to the Ice Cream Parlor,

sits in the second-to-last seat, turns to the last seat, which is empty,
and asks a girl, who isn't there, if he can buy her an ice cream cone.

The owner, who is used to the weird, local university types, always shrugs
but keeps quiet. But when Valentine's Day arrives, and the mathematician
makes a particularly heart wrenching plea into empty space, curiosity gets
the better of him, and he says, "I apologize for my stupid questions, but
surely you know there is NEVER a woman sitting in that last stool,
man. Why do you persist in talking to empty space?"

The mathematician replies, "Well, according to quantum physics, empty space
is never truly empty. Virtual particles come into existence and vanish all
the time. You never know when the proper wave function will collapse and a
girl might suddenly appear there."

The owner raises his eyebrows. "Really? Interesting. But couldn't you
just ask one of the girls who comes here every Friday if you could buy HER
a cone? You never know ... she might say yes."

The mathematician laughs. "Yeah, right. How likely is THAT to happen?"


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That's about it for this Valentines Jokes Page. Click on to the next to see what else is in store for you.
Or Use the bottom Link to return to the Funny Pictures Pages.

-[  Jokes 1  ]-  -[  Jokes 2  ]-  -[  Jokes 3  ]-  -[  Jokes 4  ]-  -[  Jokes 5 ]-  -[  Jokes 6 ]-