Valentine's Day Jokes Page

A HAPPY VALENTINE'S HUMOR PAGE.
Wishing all of you a safe and chafing free Valentines Day

From Humorcafe.com and Allfunpix.com and Indyhumor.com

Valentines Day Jokes Compellation Page 2

Valentines Day Jokes Collection

In an effort to conserve space we are stacking a few jokes on every page.

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V-Day Jokes 1

V-Day Jokes 2

V-Day Jokes 3

V-Day Jokes 4

V-Day Jokes 5

V-Day Jokes 6

Valentines Day Funny Pictures

[ MEMES 2 ] [ MEMES 3 ]
[
MEMES 4 ]

Valentine's Links Page

Here be the collection of V-day Jokes and general Woman vs. Man Humor We have tried not to bias this to our own gender but we make no promises. Hope you enjoy the humor.
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The Valentines Day Don't List - Part One

1. A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.

2. Any food item with the words "diet", "light", or "high fiber" on the label.

3. Any video starring Sylvester Stallone or Jim Carrey.

4. Flowers from a hospital's gift shop--or worse, a mortuary's.

5. Any household appliance, power tool or other item from the harder side of Sears.

6. A gift certificate.

7. Cash.

8. Anything you could have bought at the gas station mini-mart on the way over, even if you didn't.

9. An apologetic look and the words "That was today?"

10. Any cookware that could easily be used as a bludgeoning device.

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Valentine's Vernacular:

A Dating Dictionary...

DATING:
The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

EASY:
A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT:
A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND:
A member of the opposite sex who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE
A woman's feeling toward a man that is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."

IRRITATING HABIT:
What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

NYMPHOMANIAC:
A man's term for a woman who wants to do it more often than he does.

SOBER
A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

ATTRACTION:
The act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT 1st SIGHT:
What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

LAW OF RELATIVITY:
How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.


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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is a husband.

Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without...but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

My wife and I always compromise; I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

Marriage is grand -- and divorce can be as much as 100 grand and beyond.

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.


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