Valentine's Day Jokes Page

A HAPPY VALENTINE'S HUMOR PAGE.
Wishing all of you a safe and chafing free Valentines Day

From Humorcafe.com and Allfunpix.com and Indyhumor.com

Valentines Day Jokes Compellation Page 3

Valentines Day Jokes Collection

In an effort to conserve space we are stacking a few jokes on every page.

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V-Day Jokes 1

V-Day Jokes 2

V-Day Jokes 3

V-Day Jokes 4

V-Day Jokes 5

V-Day Jokes 6

Valentines Day Funny Pictures

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MEMES 4 ]

Valentine's Links Page

Here be the collection of V-day Jokes and general Woman vs. Man Humor We have tried not to bias this to our own gender but we make no promises. Hope you enjoy the humor.
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Top economist Valentine's Day cards
 
4. You raise my interest rate thirty basis points without a corresponding dropoff in consumer enthusiasm.
 
3. Let's raise housing starts together.
 
2. You stoke the animal spirits of my market.
 
1. Despite your decade of inflation, I still love you.

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•We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.
 
•Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
 
•Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
 
•Men are like public toilets
They are either engaged or full of shit!
 
•Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
 
•Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golfball?
A: A guy will actually search for a golfball.
 

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Tips For a Happy Marriage, By Red Skelton

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, then comes good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds, hers is in Ontario and mine is in Tucson.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. Statistically, 100% of all divorces start with marriage.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in."

10. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

11. I married Miss Right, I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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ELECTRIC ENGINEER / NERD V-DAY POEM

I was alone and all was dark
Beneath me and above
My life was full of volts and amps
But not the spark of love

But now that you are here with me
My heart is overjoyed
You turn the square of my heart
Into a sinusoid

You load things from my memory
Onto my system's bus
My life was once assembly code
Now it's C++

I love the way you solder things
My circuits you can fix
The voltage across your diode is
much more than just point six

With your amps and resistors
You have built my integrator
I cannot survive without you
You are my function generator

You have charged my life, increased my gain
And made my maths discrete
And now i'll end my poem here
Now Control, and Alt, Delete

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That's about it for this Valentines Jokes Page. Click on to the next to see what else is in store for you.
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-[  V-DAY FUNNY PIX  ]-