Valentine's Day Jokes Page

A HAPPY VALENTINE'S HUMOR PAGE.
Wishing all of you a safe and chafing free Valentines Day

From Humorcafe.com and Allfunpix.com and Indyhumor.com

Valentines Day Jokes Compellation Page 4

Valentines Day Jokes Collection

In an effort to conserve space we are stacking a few jokes on every page.

Use the Link below to return to Funny Pictures Pages

V-Day Jokes 1

V-Day Jokes 2

V-Day Jokes 3

V-Day Jokes 4

V-Day Jokes 5

V-Day Jokes 6

Valentines Day Funny Pictures

[ MEMES 2 ] [ MEMES 3 ]
[
MEMES 4 ]

Valentine's Links Page

Here be the collection of V-day Jokes and general Woman vs. Man Humor We have tried not to bias this to our own gender but we make no promises. Hope you enjoy the humor.
Easy Share it Any Where

The Valentine's Day Jokes
 
When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice.

'The first ten years are the hardest.'

'How long have you been married?' she asked.

'Ten years', he replied.

*****************************

Valentine's Day One-liners
•Love may not make the world spin around, but it certainly makes a lot of people dizzy.
•Here's to love - the only fire for which there is no insurance.
•My heart burns for you. Let's hope my crotch doesn't when we are through.

Worst thing you can say on a first date
•I used to have a real bad bedwetting problem ... but the last couple of weeks I've gotten it under control.
•I know we just met and this might seem a little sudden ... but could I borrow five hundred dollars?
•I don't see my ex-girlfriend that much ... thanks to the U.S. Department of Justice."
•Wait till my wife hears about this!
•I had a good time tonight. I'd love to see you again in six to eight months with good behavior.
 

*****************************

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
*****************************

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, and ws discussing his needs with the jeweler at Tiffany's.
The jeweler inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'
Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave "To my one and only love".'
The jeweler smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'
Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.

*****************************

Valentine's Day Commandments

I. I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt squeeze no others before me.

II. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze in vain, nor badmouth me behind my back.

III. Remember our Anniversary, and keep it holy. Or else.

IV. Honor MY mother and father. THINE are too darn weird.

V. Thou shalt not kill my love by behaving tackily and making me embarrassed to be seen with thee.

VI. Thou shalt not commit adultery, nor shalt thou even THINK about it if thou knowest what's good for thee.

VII. Thou shalt not steal from my wallet/purse while I am in thy

bathroom, nor use my credit cards, nor make long-distance calls from my telephone.

VIII. Thou shalt not talk about our personal problems to our friends.

IX. Thou shalt not covet the higher market price of thy neighbor's house.

X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Squeeze, nor son or daughter, nor stereo, nor BMW.
  Easy Share us Everywhere
 

That's about it for this Valentines Jokes Page. Click on to the next to see what else is in store for you.
Or Use the bottom Link to return to the Funny Pictures Pages.

-[  Jokes 1  ]-  -[  Jokes 2  ]-  -[  Jokes 3  ]-  -[  Jokes 4  ]-  -[  Jokes 5 ]-  -[  Jokes 6 ]-

-[  V-DAY FUNNY PIX  ]-